Late thirties isn't so old.

Haloween passed uneventfully, aside from some kids throwing turds at the building and yelling about "Guro no jitsu". I would've heard more, but I was busy digging the baking soda out from under the kitchen sink. Mind you, I have no idea if baking soda does anything to stains or not; I just know I've liked it since I blew up a volcano in seventh grade. We had some real pranksters then. Dogs went missing. On one occasion, a guy fell asleep in his car and woke up, still inside the car, in Kentucky. Kentucky Fried Chicken. That said, today's whippersnappers have nothing on us.

I feel old. The 80s weren't that long ago, were they?